Feel The Love, Not The Loss

If you are reading this, it’s probably because you are missing someone.  You are likely feeling pain, loss, and are hurting a great deal.  Feeling quite empty and possibly a little lost.  We’ve all been there.  If you’ve ever been in alignment, you won’t want to stay in this state for long because it hurts more to lose yourself than it does to lose another person.  So what can you do to heal?  Focus on what you are truly feeling.  You experienced so much love!  You are likely still in love or have a great deal of love for this person.  Allow yourself to feel that love.  Focus on the feeling of love rather than the feeling of the loss.  I am not saying that you should trick yourself into believing the breakup or death never happened, but rather to focus your energy on remembering the good times over the bad.  Chances are, there are far more good memories to draw from.

Allow yourself to fumble a little, give yourself some grace.  It is okay and perfectly normal to hurt and to grieve, but this is not a place to build a home.  These feelings are uncomfortable for a reason: to force movement.  I find it always helpful to ask myself what I am wanting to do in any given situation, so I know exactly what I want to draw from it.  That way, even when my mind is a mess, I can focus in on what I want and attempt to get the most out of my time.  After I do that, it’s time to ground myself in the facts of the situation; I usually start with the worst, that way I can work my way back to the most positive thought possible.  The key here is to be authentic, most importantly to yourself.  Here’s what I did with my breakup:

  • I have been abandoned by someone I believed would never leave and it hurts…this is not a feeling I like and it is my desire to improve my mood going forward.
  • I am feeling sad in this moment, but I can find things to be thankful for in each day and go from there.  Knowing this, I will feel better the moment I start being grateful.
  • Most of my despair is stemming from the disappointment of broken promises, but logically I understand that promises are not something I should build upon because they are based upon feelings and feelings are not stable, they are fluid and change every day.
  • My pride is wounded, but logically I understand that someone else’s actions toward me directly reflect the way they are feeling about themselves.  That said, if this person cannot face me, it is not because I am unworthy or undeserving of the truth, but rather this person is probably dealing with immense guilt, regret, confusion, indecision, or past trauma.
  • I know that I am a beautiful and strong woman and going forward, this experience will add to my strength.
  • My heart is not tainted or closed off.  I am still capable of love and I still have immense love to give.  I do not harbor anger or ill intent toward this person.  I wish him well in life and I am going to be happy even though my plans for the future have been drastically changed.
  • I am so thankful that I experienced a love so full that my life was forever changed because of it.  I am thankful that I was able to see the lessons that I needed to learn in order to grow into a more well-rounded woman.
  • Experiencing this love was the beginning of a new expansion and experiencing the loss triggered my next expansion.  I will forever be grateful for the catalysts in life that have caused me to step into my power.
  • I am excited for a new beginning and to see where this new path will lead me.
  • What is meant to be will find a way, and what is not meant to be will fall away, and I will be happy and healthy either way.

I hope you notice how I was able to put a positive spin on all of the seemingly negative thoughts that ran through my head.  This doesn’t mean I didn’t cry, because I did a lot and I still do from time to time.  We are human, and emotions are meant to be felt and released, but not to be held.  It is okay to feel the loss, but the positive thing to embrace is the love.  There is a reason you came together and there is a reason you are hurting so much over the separation…it is because you loved.  So hold on tightly to that love and let that same love heal you.  Love is beautiful and beauty cracks us wide open; it is through those cracks that new love can come in and heal us even further, but we have to release the pain first.

Wishing you all the best.  🙏😊🙏

I am working on new projects!  If you feel drawn to contribute, you can do so here: https://paypal.me/DeepThoughtsWithLori

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